Sunday, 23 August 2015

THE STRUGGLES OF AN ANXIOUS GIRL



I've been a little bit AWOL this last couple of weeks, and as this is my blog, my very own space on the internet, about me, I thought I'd explain a little bit why.
A blog, social media, Instagram and what not are good ways to edit your life. You don't put all the things up that you don't want people to see. It's the good times, the new clothes that arrived in the post, the amazing looking cocktails you are out having with your pretty friends and the palm tree clad places you visit that you're likely to post. Not the down days. Not the days when you've sat in your mismatching pyjamas watching Netflix and having a good cry. So I wanted to make a conscious effort not to edit this part of my life out that I've been finding tough, instead I wanted to share it with you in an attempt to show you I'm a real person that has my own little battles just like everyone else. I don't just internet shop and drink wine. (although I wish that was the case)
I'm a very anxious person, and I have had to have help with this in the past. I will go dizzy if I'm sitting in a room full of people, Sometimes I think I'm going to faint if I am in a queue and other ridiculous irrational things. I'm a bit better with these things now, I've learnt how to cope with various techniques and by understanding the physical reactions to panic. I now understand that I am overestimating the danger of a situation, and underestimating my ability to cope... however, I still hate change. Something, that ironically, will probably never change. I like to be settled, I like to be in a routine and have familiar things around me. Don't get my wrong, I love going away on days out, weekends away and holidays to new places, but I always like to know I am coming back to my own comfortable environment. Where everything is familiar and safe. This place has been my family home for the last 25 years, full of love and dogs!
Last week I moved out. Something relatively easy and exciting for most people, but for me (as dramatic as it sounds) I have found it hard to deal with. The most ridiculous part of it all, is that I've literally moved over the road. I couldn't be any closer! Yet everything is so different and unfamiliar in my new home, which I really struggle with. I cried for about 3 days like an absolute moron, and have found it hard to eat all week. I've mostly been surviving off oranges. Then I end up getting myself all worked up about the fact that I find normal things so difficult, which I really can't help. Someone once said to me, it's like having a row of cars parked in the street and I'm the car whose alarm goes off with a little gust of wind, but another car can be having it's windscreen smashed in and the alarm still wont be going off. Which I suppose is a very accurate description.
 I'll probably never like change, even little things, but I'm really doing my best so soldier on and fingers crossed I will be back blogging again soon. I know this is something that most people won't understand, it's very 'un-chic' and you might think I'm a massive doofus now, but I thought it was important to share this aspect of my life with you and not edit it out.
x
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Sunday, 16 August 2015

MY LOVE FOR THE WEST COUNTRY

 
 
 


 
 
 
White Crochet Kimono - c/o South Beach Swim |'Milly' Indiana Ice Bikini - c/o Triangl Swimwear | Cat Eye Sunnies - Quay Australia |
 
Last week I was in one of my favourite places on Earth down in the West Country, where it's all about sun, sea and surf. Don't get me wrong, I love laying on a Greek beach sipping on a cocktail as much as the next person, but honestly, I'd rather be sitting cross legged in the sand watching my brother surfing. The weather was pretty perfect for unpredictable Great Britain as well, which probably helped with my blissful mood... I might not have been as enthusiastic had I been sat inside everyday watching the rain running down the windows.
Weather aside, there's so many things I love about Devon & Cornwall. The people are so friendly (not to mention tanned) and it's perfectly acceptable to approach a stranger and strike up a conversation about their dog... Something I have discovered some people aren't so keen on further North of the country.
 Also, everywhere smells so nice. It's either pasties, sea air or general countryside, even if 'general countryside' smells consist a bit of sheep/cow pats, I quite enjoy it. It smells healthy. Weird that I just wrote that but lets go with it.
I also didn't wear make up the whole time I was there, and didn't feel like a massive troll. If anything I felt better! Everyone there is make-up & care free. I didn't touch my liquid eyeliner or put on a smidgen of lipstick all week... and now I never want to again. I've managed it for one day so far, but I know the pressures of East Anglia life will lead me to delve in my make-up bag once more and go back to my draining 40 minute make up routine.
Lastly, I'm not an alcoholic, I hardly even go out drinking, but I do enjoy that it's not frowned upon to have a cider at mid day. I'd certainly like the option, and it was an option that I took severe advantage of.
 
Alas, I am back to Earth with a bump. This week I'm moving house & going back to work. I actually moved yesterday and cried all afternoon and evening, and as a result have one huge puffy eye. I'm a massive home bird you see and am not ashamed to admit that I love to be around my comforts, family and animals more than anything else (in other words I have major attachment issues.) However, I'm 26 next month, and feel like it's getting socially unacceptable to live with my parents. Lets hope I'll make it. It's touch & go.
#prayforhelen
 
x
 



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Friday, 7 August 2015

THE HUN






 
 
Sleeveless Camel Jacket - c/o Hidden Fashion  | 'Farleigh' Mom Jeans - Asos  | Cat Eye Sunnies - Quay Australia  | Topshop Mules
 
 
Today I have been sporting the 'hun' (i.e half bun). Mainly for the reason that it was super muggy and my fringe looked like a gerbil. So this will probably be the first and last time you see the hun on my blog. Enjoy it. Or don't, I can't really say I am.
 
In other news, my love for a sleeveless waistcoat/blazer/jacket goes on. So when this little Hidden Fashion  gem arrived through my door I was thoroughly chuffed as you can imagine. I've blogged about this website before, because I was so gobsmacked at their prices, and this jacket was another jaw dropper at £9! That's right, nine pound! Nine of your finest pounds! I wish they did it in other colours, id' be all over that shit.
 
I'm off on holiday tonight, and am moving house as soon as I get back... and also getting a new job and got my driving test. To say I'm off my face on Kalms and Rescue Remedy would not be an exaggeration. So the posts might be a bit sparse for couple of weeks, but please bare with me. In the mean time you could follow me on Instagram  ... a bit of moral support also wouldn't go a miss.
 
Over & Out
 
 
x
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